She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
