none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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