Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
