ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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