only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
