whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
