the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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