Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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