Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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