After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
