We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
