Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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