Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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