So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The struggles of a small town man whore
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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