try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
