Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
