Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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