last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize