oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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