Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
