I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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