I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
