So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
