He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
