If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
