Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Oh god it's open bar.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
