I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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