I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
