I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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