so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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