U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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