THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
