thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
