Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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