Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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