I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize