If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
