Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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