one might say we're banned from that church
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
