So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
