She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
