We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
