please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
