This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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