Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
tell me about the eggs
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
