man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
