You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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