He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize