Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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