yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
