told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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