when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
