Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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