My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
