I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
