Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
