I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize