Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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