and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
