I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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