I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
