You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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