just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
