her vagina looked like bernie madoff
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
