He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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