Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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