My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
