T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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